chebyshev’s theorem
don’t remember the last time I updated this. About the same but I’ve started my statistics class and it’s absolute dogshit but i can’t say I wasn’t surprised. Doing statistics instead of wasting my life away over discourse like I did the past 4 years of my life has humbled me a bit. i’ve put some ghosts that were in my closet and laid them to rest
Speaking of ghosts i finally got around to starting FFVII Rebirth and the horrors are so painfully real. if I’m not making time for just games and such I’m just going through the motions of trying to get my degree and make money and it’s pretty fucking terrible!!! I want to rewatch a few things, namely Shiki cause i have too much time on my hands.. There’s definitely a list though
The political climate is getting more and more unsafe as time goes by and i find that i feel more and more anxious about it and there’s no incentive really keeping me here anymore and maybe a change is needed.. in time eventually.
i’ve been too preoccupied with my thoughts and where my place in the world will be. everything is so uncertain, and i’ve never been a fan of uncertainty. It feels like looking through a huge opaque mirror and not being able to see my reflection.
same day but it’s now 6:50pm and i’m continuing this. I’m learning how to cook and that’s fun! i baked myself something too.
i’m taking everything a day at a time which makes me feel a lot more like a “person.” life’s a game and I generally don’t take anything seriously except everything when it’s in my face and i’m prone to ruminating. created a lot of disconnect from the overarching black and white narrative i have of everything around me including myself. my dislike for people and the world as it is feels a lot less bleak when i take life this way so i’ll continue doing it. Suicide is out shit i should’ve done 4 years ago is in
anhedonia aside, a good day has me feeling like this more often than not:
